How to Overcome Fear of Driving A Car
How did your fear of driving start? Can you recall any particular frightful incident involving you or someone close to you? Have you heard of terrible experiences from someone?
Whatever the cause of your fear of driving a car, that particular scary experience has snowballed into a major crisis – a driving phobia. You may be suffering from palpitation, sweating, lightheadedness, short and irregular breaths, quivering hands, or feelings of losing control or thoughts of crashing.
These symptoms are actually a cumulative effect of the actual fear of driving (which is a tiny portion to begin with) and the fear of having these symptoms. Unfortunately it’s become a vicious cycle that keeps escalating.
The Vicious Cycle of Fear of Driving
First stage in this cycle is the actual fear of driving caused by any incident, real or imagined. A mere remembrance brings with it slight symptoms of sweat, trembling or any of the ones mentioned above.
In the second stage of this fear cycle, you begin to fear that the symptoms will escalate. This fear of symptoms makes you even more afraid of driving, thereby worsening your symptoms.
In the third stage you give in to your feelings of fear and give up driving. You avoid the situation.
In the final stage, you experience a sharp fall in symptoms of fear because you have given up the idea of driving. This sends out a signal to your subconscious mind telling it that the way of reducing fear of driving is to avoid driving. Your belief that you fear driving gets reinforced.
How to Overthrow This Belief That You Have a Fear of Driving?
The only way to break into the fear cycle, get hold of it and eliminate it from your subconscious mind is to de-link the feelings of fear associated with driving and re-link it with pleasant and happy feelings instead.
This process can be successfully executed with a technique discussed below that reprograms the subconscious mind.
Reprogramming Technique for Overcoming Fear of Driving
Sit back and relax on your couch to perform this exercise for overcoming your fear of driving. It works by replacing the feelings of anxiety with those of peace in your subconscious mind.
Think of something very pleasant and beautiful. Recall a day when you felt happy, relaxed and secure. Maybe it was on a holiday with your family, at the beach lying in the sun, or when you first held your newborn.
Pick up something from your memory and relive those wonderful feelings, the smell, the touch, the sounds…
The key is vividness. Recall your blissful feelings vividly.
Now, just for a length of two seconds, imagine yourself driving your car. Go back to your memories immediately. Drift into those feelings again.
After a minute or so, once again imagine yourself driving your car, for no more than two seconds.
Revert to your blissful and “safe” memories immediately, before allowing fear or anxiety build up. Continue this cycle for about 20 minutes.
What’s going to happen is your brain will reprogram itself to associate feelings of peace and happiness with driving. The old programming will be broken. You shall be a different person within two weeks.
That was how to overcome fear of driving using a brain reprogramming technique. You can easily overcome the general fear of driving through this technique.
But you need to go deeper and find out exactly what you are scared of while driving. And we will work a way through that too. Find out – is it a general fear of driving phobia, driving on freeways or bridges, phobia of busy intersections, fear of how to park on crowded streets without smashing a light…?
How to Overcome Your Specific Fear of Driving
Once you find out what exactly scares you while driving, sit next to an experienced driver among your family or friends, and observe how they do it.
Now apply the technique that we discussed above right there as your partner drives through the scary bridge, intersection, freeway, or whatever that gives you the fear of driving.
For example, consider that you have fear of driving on freeways. Watch your partner drive effortlessly and skillfully on the freeway.
Absorb the situation. Sit back, relax, and think of something that makes you feel happy, relaxed and peaceful. Close your eyes if need be.
Draw from your memories and fill your mind with those feelings. Not so difficult when you are in the passenger seat with eyes closed.
Now once every minute, for two seconds each, open your eyes and imagine yourself in the driver’s seat driving the car. Continue this cycle for 15-20 minutes or until the feeling of fear dissociates with driving on the freeway. Open your eyes and continue to imagine yourself driving with those feelings still in your mind.
Now switch places with your partner and practice. You’ll feel much better than going it all alone. You can overcome your fear of driving on freeways or bridges or anything else in this way.
What is your fear of driving over bridges anyway? The bridge isn’t going to collapse? All you really need to do is look straight ahead and follow a straight line behind the other cars in front of you. If you do this you won’t hit the sides or crash into the separator. Practice the reprogramming technique and you’ll be fine.
Final Words
Take it step by step. It’s a wise thing to do especially if your fear of driving tends towards phobia. If you have a fear of driving over bridges, first drive over really small ones.
Then drive over those that are about the length of 1-2 blocks and more. Finally proclaim your victory over the fear of driving over bridges by driving over really long bridges spanning water. If you have a fear of driving on freeways, take the first exit after ramping up.
Next time go further. Initially stick to the rightmost lane. As you gain in confidence go one to the left.
You can find more of such techniques in the Driving Fear Program. Hundreds of people like you have overcome their fear of driving with this program.
The author himself has gone on from being a timid driver to an adventurous one and he wants to share his tips with you.
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Hello, I am Dan Carneal, a driver’s ed student who just discovered there’ssomething hindering me from doing well, driving anxiety. I have only been in one car crash, and it wasn’t fatal, however, as a driving student, I have responsibilities I can’t meet because of my driving anxiety. I am kind of always thinking that yes, Crashes are a Reality, which, they are, so maybe how can I stop thinking about crashes?
Thanks for reading. I hope to hear back.
Hello! I`ve stopped my entire life because of this fear.I`m 33 years old and now I’ve finally sucked it up and went in for my beginner’s permit. I feel foolish, stunted, and emotionally immature. I do suffer from general anxiety disorder, so this is going to be a major milestone for me..But the fact that my actual driving skills are okay are what keep me going forward.
When I am driving in the morning, when I reach a tunnel, I am feeling that my vehicle is moving towards right also I am thinking that my car will meet an accident. it is in the same place almost all the time and also in highways.
I have been suffering from this enxiety for some time now, I susually freeze and also feels like I will crush into the car approching form my right hand side. I experienced the same thing again this morning and the only thing that saved me was prayer. I started praying. I think it is about time I seek professional help.
Hello, last year I was in an accident where our vehicle flipped over 3 times. I am now 17 years of age and I should be driving already, some days I want too but other days I can’t bring myself to even think about it without having a panic attack. What should I do?
I’m afraid of the whole experience of driving. One, I’m afraid that since I’ve waited so long I’m embarrassed that I’m just now starting to drive and I’m 26. Two, I’m afraid of being responsible for other people on the road and in the same vehicle as me. Third, I’ve been in 3 wrecks. And last but not least I’m embarrassed that my skills aren’t where they should be for my age……
Fear controls me while i am driving as i am a beginner driver i had one accident small one but i couldn’t sleep that night thinking of it , parking is my big problem so i guess i will follow that program to overcome my driving fear
practice, practice, practice. some of you have been in accidents, thank god everyones ok. i would look at it like riding a bike, you fell but it was no big deal, you gotta get back up, i am conquering my fear of driving one day at a time, its working, i feared going the wrong way or making a mistake on the road, that would cost me my life or someone else for that matter, however, what we are dealing with here is negative risk. everyday we take risks, just depends on how you look at it. risk is in the eye of the beholder, i agree with the article above, you gotta change your thinking, and you all can do it, hell i can and will do it. think about about how many risks you all take each and everyday, you be surprised how you managed to survive : ) after you do that its time to get busy, get a freind or pay for practice driving classes tell the instructor hey im afraid, let him show you the techniques calmly, and then do it over and over and reassure yourself, that you can do this. has anyone here ever looked at other drivers, i think its sometimes hilariouse, they come in all shapes and sizes some look clueless, others look confident, still others look cautiouse, and so on, bottom line they are out there doing it while we are stuck in fear, fear is good but common we gotta live! posting this has just helped me : )
all of you need a good laugh. i dont know you but you all seem like people with great personalities, and i just want to encourage you all you can do it. its funny i have a fear of driving, but we are just gonna have to find out what happens, because life, is full of risks, and if i dont get over this fear of driving then i risk the joys of coming and going as i please wherever i want, to big of a risk if you ask me, but then again thats just me.
guys im not trying to be insensative about this issue, its real, and seriouse, but i know you can all do this.
laugh and then go drive.
I have a pretty serious fear of driving my car. It all started when some man in a white pickup truck tried to cut me off when two lanes merged into one, then he followed me into my neighborhood and got out of his car, and threatened to kill me for about 30 minutes. He was twice my size (definitely overweight) and liked Harley Davidson motorcycles. He talked about how he would tie a cinder block to my foot and throw me in a lake and how easy that would be. At this point, I was scared out of my mind. I surely thought I was going to be killed by this man.
Another incident came when someone on a motorcycle cut in front of me by using the shoulder to get to the front of the pack to a red light, so he could be first when it turned green. He ended up looking both ways at the intersection, and ran the red light. I wanted to get the license plate of this guy and report him to the local police for such a major traffic offense, but then the motorcyclist threatened me through my open window and said “you don’t want to mess with someone like me”, and then proceeded to speed up and pass six or seven other cars by using the shoulder again.
Then, one time, I was getting into my car to go leave for a movie. I had parked it at a school to go play football with a buddy of mine on the field….the school, which was nearby the onramp to go to the next town, had a good movie theater. As I was leaving to go catch the movie with my friend, a man dressed as a police officer approached my car when I was pulling out of the parking lot. He jumped right in front of my car and I swurved to get out of the way. I didn’t know if he was a policeman or not because he didn’t show me any badge, nor did I see a police cruiser nearby, and his actions of attempting to stop the car with his own body seemed like it could have been just a weirdo on drugs, so I freaked out. As I swurved around him to get out of his way, he threw his maglight into my back passenger window, which shattered and cut my face, the maglight sitting in my back seat. I didn’t know what to do, so I went home. I ended up realizing he was a legitimate police officer when my friend, who was stopped at gunpoint by the same officer, allowed the policeman to use his cell phone to call me, and he left a message saying he wanted his maglight back. I invited the police over to my house and they thought I was attempting to run over the police officer, but I honestly didn’t want to do that, that’s why I swurved out of the way. When they were interrogating me, asking why I didn’t stop, I told them honestly that I didn’t think the man was a real cop, since I saw no badge or police vehicle (until they came over to my house).
All three of these events have culminated to me not wanting to drive, any more. I haven’t driven my car, or any other car, in almost a year, for fear of driving it. Also, I have a couple speeding tickets, which will stay on my record permanently if I get another one before I turn 23. I am 21 right now.
I am currently taking 4mg of clonazepam and 200mg of seroquel at night, because I have lingering fears about that man in my first story, coming to my house to kill me, so I can never sleep at night, and I had some really bad panic attacks, ending in either losing my lunch, having full body shakes for fifteen minutes at a time while also feeling as if I am going to have a heart attack and I have trouble breathing. Sometimes the panic attacks are so bad that I literally cannot move. It’s like I’m playing dead, except shaking all over. Since taking the medication I have been prescribed, I haven’t had many panic attacks–I usually only have them if I am in an unfamiliar setting with people I don’t trust well. I also have test anxiety, which means I cannot fall asleep the night before a test.
So…having this fear of driving has caused me to come up with a whole round of excuses as to why I “can’t” drive, that I tell friends, who want to hang out and seem a bit perturbed that I don’t have my own form of transportation. Most of my days I live out at home, since I’m terrified to go out by myself in my car, unless I am picked up by a trusting friend or driven by my parents or older sister. It makes me feel as if I have no independence whatsoever. It also doesn’t help that my car looks like hell since I dented the front end badly and never replaced it (don’t have enough money/don’t want to do it/would rather buy a different car), when my foot slipped off the brake pedal at a red light and hit the gas while I was in 1st, causing me to slam the back of the car in front of me.
I think the only way I am going to start driving again is if I get a new car–the old one is haunted with bad memories.
I have a fear of driving.. i always think someone is going to crash into me or i am going to crash into someone else.. i did these things and it helped me alot i know have more confidence in my driving thank you!!
Hello I am 26 with a family and have let my fear of driving take over our whole life. We have had to miss out on a lot because of my fear. I have never even tried to get my license. But recently I have decided to overcome my driving phobia. I hope to do so by trying anything possible to achieve this. whttp://overcomingmydrivingphobia.blogspot.com/ould love to hear others advice and stories.
Hi , I’m terryfing about the idea of driving. I’m 23 years old and I can’t help feel fear when I’m driving. I don’t know what to do. Really,, I don’t know; and the worst part of all of this, is the fact that as long as the days passed, I get myself crasiest about these. I mean I already crash my car against a pole, another car, I also crash my mom’s car…. helppppp I think that I never going to learn,,,
Hello i have had a fear of driving for years. i dont like free ways bissy roads and bridges.. it has came to the point that i have to pull over and go back home.. and i will not go on free ways i freak out and i have to get off at the next exit.. Iam a Military wife and i have to take my hubby to and from work and i need help with my fear of driving.
I had anxiety attacks while i was driving, and now it has developed into a fear of driving.
iam a new driver just got my licence 3 weeks back, 1. my car always switched off everytime ia m trying to move off from traffic lights, please help 2. i have a fear of driving on the hill especially on traffic, my fear is that my new car will reverse to another car of just switched off. can anyone tell me what iam doing wrong.
HI,
I am afraid of driving because I am afraid of causing an accident killing somebody,or face jail time. Just the taught of any of this happening frightens me enough not to even want to try to learn how to drive but my situatuon is now forcing me to drive and now I need to.
i am always scared when i want to drive
I’m 40 years old, when i was 17 i was learning to drive and everything looks very simple. until a tragedy happened in my family. my older brother was killed(not driving related). one day i was taking my driving lesson as usual, and the person that killed my bro passed rigth in from of me looking at me like if wanted to harm me. that was enough for me to panic and ran away leaving my instructor cluless. years past by, i used to live in new york and i really didn’t need to drive, so that was the perfect excuse not to drive. now i’m living in fl, where i have to have a car, well i had to add that i had a husband that always discouraged me from driving and doing other things,so that contribuited to my fear. i’m not afraid of having a crash or driving on certaing places, i just avoid the idea of having to drive, just to get on the driver sit make me think about the past situation,this has been very frustrating to me. i,m a professional and have to depend on my friends and family to drive me every where…it’s not a good feeling! this is the very first time i talk about this, if someone has a advice it will be appreciated!!
Elissa, I am a 39 year old woman. I learned how to drive at 37. I was living in other country and I did not have the necessity to drive. But in USA you have to drive.
I had a minor car accident few weeks ago (very minor but it took away all my strenght and confidence while driving).
And I am very affraid of driving. But I have to. I have to work and pick up my daughter from school. I do not have alternative.
Every day I pray, I feel so afraid and helpless. I am thinking in taking some driving classes. Sometimes the relatives can not help you and you need help from a professional.
I do not know if this will help me, I hope so. I recomend you this too. Go to traffic school, find a good instructor.
Buena suerte, amiga.
Regards.
I have “safety zones” that I can drive without any problems ( say 15 miles away from home) but I cannot drive on freeways, or in heavy traffic. I will take back roads and drive an hour getting to my destination instead of dealing with the “panic attacks”. I have been having these for 20+ years. I refuse to take drugs so I stay away from ” professional help”. Many of my friends & family used to say that I was making it up/ no one has panic attacks while driving”. Now I can see that other people do have them too. Thank You.
hi, i have such a fear of driving that im 24 and have never fully finnished a driving test. i can pass the written part, but when it comes to actually driving a car i can’t do it. and simply chicken out. im so embarrased by this fear and my husband nags me about it almost everyday. i really do want to start driving but my fear is so bad that i jsut cant bring myself to even get on a highway without feeling like im going to be sick. my pulse starts to race and i even become confused on where the gas & break are. how do i overcome this fear… i always think that ppl think im immature for this. but truth is they just dont understand.
Hello, I have been experiencing driving anxiety since the time I got the delivery of my brand new car. Things were almost good during my training days. I assumed that I have mastered driving. I even passed the driving test and was issued licence to drive. But, when I sat for the first time in my car, I almost rammed it because I pushed accelerator for brakes. The scars on my car influenced more fear in me. I have been gathering guts and driving for the last one week and have been stopping in the middle of busy road. Can you imagine the faces of pissed-off drivers. Sweat still tinkles down, with AC in full. I have always feared that someone gonna bang from behind or I may damage someone else’s car. I have got the guts to keep on trying, but patience is what I lack. Please suggest how to build up patience…
I have a fear of driving before I get into a car. However once I’m in the car I’m fine
Hi,
I am 48 years old i am really afraid to drive i used to drive very well but one day i was with my husband on the high way and i was driving at 120km/ hr and then he shouted to me and say drive hard i had a panic packed the car a side and since then i very afraid to drive i try very much and sometimes is good and sometimes not and at the high way a never try to do it since now its almost five years and the fear is still the same somebody can help me. My husband is becoming older and i am afraid if one day he can no more drive.
Im 21 yrs old and I got my permit when I was 19 yrs old. Im now married and my husband wants me to learn how to drive so that when he gets deployed I can get around. I’m so afriad to drive. Yes I’ve driven a few times but as soon as he points out I’ve done soemthing wrong I give up and I don’t want to drive anymore. I’m afriad of other cars, I’m afriad of getting on the beltway, and the highway. Can someone help me out?
I was afraid to drive and didn’t get my license until I was 20. Believe I just as afraid as the next person, but let me give you a pep
talk. You might be feeling like you don’t have control of the car, but you have to remind yourself that you do. Take it slow. Drive as many flat country roads as you can find or places where there is little traffic. Push yourself to practice & the more you do the better you will feel. The fear you have at first is worth the freedom you will have later. Looking back it was silly for me to be afraid. But I do understand this fear. Most Importantly- Ask God to take this fear away. I(YOU) can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13.
I used to feel very confident about driving until i actually started doing it. My fear started with when i moved to to the u.s.a. My hubby kept telling me that i would fail the driving test. Fail i did. It just stuck in my head. I made myself clear the test. Then i fought to drive our one and only car so that i could feel independent. He wouldn’t share. Then i bought myself a car to drive. On the second day of driving my own car i had a minor accident. I got over that too. After four months someone else ran into me at a red light. Since then i have been frozen with fear. I feel as if the air is sucked out of me when i have to drive. I avoid driving. I paid a lot for my car and parking, now it just stands there and i don’t have the guts to drive it. I take transit to work which i find very shameful as no one at my work takes transit. I know i own a car and should start driving but i just don’t have the guts in me anymore. I carry my car key with me all day round thinking that courage will strike me once again. I don’t think anyone can help me with this…..i have to over come my fears on my own. Sharing this on the net helps me open up and lets me know that my problem is shared by many.
Hi I am a shamed to say I am afraid of driving, I wAs a very confident driver am a hospital manager and need to drive all over the country as part of my job however I have had two accidents about 100 yards from my house we the same family one hit me with a tractor and the other with a 4 x 4 a year to the day, my anxiety caused me a week ago to reverse into a wAll my family and friends think am soft but I can’t bring myself to drive
Hello, I’m Amanda. I suffer from Depression, Bipolar, and Anxiety. I got my driver’s licence in 2008. I used to love driving. i was a great driver. Then all of a sudden I started to feel unsafe behind the wheel. I am now afraid to even think of driving. I try to do little things like, drive around my trailer park, or park the car. but i just have these terrible anxiety attacks to the point that I start to cry. I want to try driving again. But I just cant bring myself to get behind the wheel. I’ve had one close encounter with another car, but no accidents. I was a very careful driver. I passed my drivers lesson on the first try. I loved driving. I loved the freedom. Then it just stopped. I just dont feel safe driving a vehicle. I want to start driving again, but everytime I think about driving.. i just cant.
I am 24. I grew up in a big city where I drove on huge highways for long distances ll the time. When I was about 21, I started experiencing panic attacks on the highway. I saw a counselor about this and other anxiety issues and they brought up a good point. When I feel panicky, I feel as though I will crash the car or mentally/physically lose control. The doctor told me that panicking makes your heart race and this causes you to be more alert than usual. I’m not going to faint or pass out while driving, I’m just psyching myself out. I moved to the mountains and was fine driving except on highways. Well, recently my fear is back and I can’t help but think that it is related to to other issues I am having. I’m glad to see that I am not the only one with these issues. We can get past this! We are all strong and just need to remember that we deserve to be good and calm drivers just as much as everyone else! Good luck, and thanks for reading
My mother died in a hit and run when i was 12 years old i was with her when they took her to the hospital ,but she died on the way to the hospital. Since then i was was scared to driver a car.Now that i am 30 i force my self to enroll in a driving school when through all the required lessons before i learn to drive with my instructor . But each time i sit behind the drivers seat all i can think about is what happend to my mother .It’s gotten to the point where i quit my classes after 9 sessions 2 hour each sessions. Nobody understands how i feel my friends and colleague calls me crazy because i am letting an incident that happend 18 year ago to overtake me , they say that i should have gotten over it and be matured, but truth is they just don’t understand because they not in my shoes . Help me because i want to learn to drive a car but each time my fear control me with a tight grip.Please help me to be free from this fear?
hi
l’m 29 and l used to live in another country so didn’t havr to drive but since l came to the USA and live in like an island l have nowhere to go without a car but when l’m driving l think always about an accident that happend to me with my father we were ok but l fear to hit someone or a car hit me and thinking about driving in highways “”"”"”"” my heart stops l really need help may life is boring
im also afraid to drive i was in a minor accident and then my best friend mother two cusins and a aunt died in a car crash. and i think because im always doing something wrong i will case an accident and hurt someone else or my self. im 34 years old ive taking classes to drive but 2 failed the driving part. i think im not focused or mature enuf to drive. it keeps me from alot of things and damit im tired of it. i miss out of what the world has to offer me from not driving.. i will not lose i will drive 2011
I had a big panic attack whild driving 2 months ago and has had difficulty driving since then. I would shake and have massive panic attacks, but I continued to force myself to drive. I came across a fear of driving hypnosis session by hypnosis downloads and tried it. After several sessions, I feel better. I still get the anticipatory anxiety, but it has helped tremendously in the actual act of driving. There is hope. Know that this will pass and there is a lot of resources/help out there. Deep breaths. “This too shall pass.”
I’m a 52 year old female. I have a phobia of riding on highways… driving or as a passenger. My uncle was killed in a crash on a highway and my brother was seriously injured in a separate accident. My phobia really kicked when a piece of wood flew off of a truck that I was following. I swerved to avoid it…drove off the highway and flipped several times!
I fear everything about highways including…the high rate of speed, on/off ramps, heavy traffic, not being able to control the cars around me, being trapped between semi-trucks and trucks carrying cargo of any kind.
I drive back roads too avoid freeways…even it takes me twice as long to get to my destination. I’ll probably never get on a freeway again. And that’s ok with me! I can live just fine with out them!
I am not a new driver but, just of recent, I developed fear and anxiety in driving my car.It seems the car will always tumble any time i am driving it.I am really troubled in mind on how to overcome this fear.In fact I like driving a lot.
Actually, I am more afraid of other drivers than being worried about my own driving skills. I drive an old car since I cannot afford leasing a new car. Other drivers behave really rude with me while driving!
Even if I do a very small mistake (A VERY SMALL mistake! such as starting to move with a small hesitation) They horn, and sometimes give me a very rude look and insult! They don’t even care if the person they insult is Old , woman, disable or what?
It is really sad because I have become totally truamatize! sometimes I want to cry while driving! I give up my right for everybody to change line and drive in front of me! I am kind and patient to everyone! Then, I see this will be the appriciation they give me : Hatefull look and rude words!
I havent driven for 5 years, have had quite a few panick attacks and feel terrified behind the wheel, my father was killed in a car crash in 1970 at the lights, and I panick when approaching them, but I am good driver and my reactions are very good, I have been out with my husban d on short trips, I thing my fathers accident has something to do with it but would love to get out on my own, I am not confident enough to drive alone, I keep thinking I will b reak down or cause an accident, when I am with my husband driving he says my driving is spot on, he cant understand why I cant drive.
I’m 24, and i have a fear of driving it seems like i get very nervous before i get in the car then once im driving im usually ok but anytime i have the chance to get behind the wheel i make excuses because as much as i want to get my licenses and need to get them i feel like it would just be easier if i didnt. This has put a strain on my marriage so i am writing this in hopes of facing my fear and moving on with my life. Please pray for me as i will be praying for u all.
I have a strong fear of driving in US, I am living here from almost 5 years and have always passed the written tests but not able to take the driving test.
I am from India, I used to drive a car from age of 18, never had any problems, i m a good driver. Even today I drive in India from the moment i land there. its breeze.
But when i come back here in US, i don’t know what has happened.
When i first came to this country after getting married, i never came with the fear of driving, but my husband was a very hasty and bad driver, and i was always so tensed in the car. And i was mortified by the laws of driving and cops, it all felt like hell, as he used to get many tickets and it grew more and more fear into me.
and he was pressuring me to drive everyday, and one day he really pushed me, living me with the car on the road and i had to drive, worst day of my life….i just parked in the nearest parking lot and couldn’t stop crying…..and almost vomited when came back home. my whole body was shaking, and my heart felt like it will come out any minute……i felt so helpless and humiliated….then he used always emotionally push me like ” what if something happens to him, and I won’t be able to drive and take him to the hospital”……i was feeling so much pressure, i was like – find another wife who drives…..i don’t want to live here and suffer anyways……things got much better afterwards, he started understanding, and have never said a word about it since a year……..and even i have forgotten about all that along with the need of driving. I work from home, i don’t go out, i m easily managing my life without my own need of driving, kind of dependent – but happily.
But whenever i see other newer and younger people- who has never driven in their country starts driving here, i feel bad for myself. Because i m like a different person in my own country ( where i m on wheels all the time- totally fearless and independent and outgoing…) pretty weird, generally most of the people hate and fear driving in India, instead i love driving there. And i can’t drive here, where everyone else feels safe and easy driving.
I know that my fear is due to a bad start with the whole driving and cops scenario in this country due to my husband ( even he has become very responsible and safe driver now, i don’t hold the handle of the door now and my body muscle are relaxed when i m in the car ), but still i have some fear left – like i won’t be able to remember the rules of driving- it seems like too many things to remember and look out the signs and directions, it all seems tooo confusing to me, i don’t know why. and also worried about getting tickets.
im 25 years old and ive never had a license…ive been a passenger in a few accidents, ive drove a few times on back roads and im good at it but i still always vision bad accidents happening, i think my main problem is i never had a parent to help me with the driving thing my mother is 48 and has never drove either i dont know what to do because this fear is causing me to be depressed and bored with my life!
I’ve been there, and believe me, if I can get over my fear of driving, anyone can! I was in my late 20′s, and it was past time for me to get my license! I was even talking to someone about it for a while. (It helped a little, but not much). I used to avoid situations where I’d have to drive, and would only ride if I knew I wouldn’t have to drive. I know some of you have families, and don’t have a license. That’s gotta be hard. It’s actually because of my fiance (now my husband) that I’m driving now. I told him about my fear, and eventually he got me driving, because he was a calming influence on me. So, if I can drive, you can too. (Although, I don’t like driving at night in unfamiliar areas, and I don’t like driving too close to the dividing walls on freeways-other than that, I actually prefer the freeway). Good luck!
I’m 21, I have a permit, but I still cannot drive very well. I do not drive at all. I’m tired of putting myself through this. I haven’t been practicing at all. After reading these comments, I feel somewhat reassured that I’m not the only one out there. I’ve never been in an accident, but there’s something that comes over me when I get behind the wheel. I just got my permit at 21, no telling when or if I will ever get my license. I’ve taken a few driving lessons before, they helped somwhat, but it was not consistent. There were only once a month for about 4 months. I want my mom to teach me, but she makes me feel even worst, she makes me feel even more anxiety and nervous and panicky. Because she feels that way towards me, but she is the only one that I have to help me drive. I have no other option. I hate this, I want to drive, I really do, I just simply am too nervous, afraid, and have too much anxiety, I’ll be 22 next and still wil be a passenger and riding the bus. But I have to do this for myself and no one else. Because I will be behind the wheel. I want to, but then I don’t want to. I want to, but I’m always avoiding it and never ask my mom can we go driving. But if I don’t I will never drive. I cannot keep this up any longer, I need so much help! People just don’t know exactly how I truly feel and it just kills me inside each day. I just have to get out there and do it! That’s all I can do!
I’m 22 years old and want to stop taking the bus. Since I have a beard now it gets harder to claim the youth discount, and the bus fair for adults is 2 dollars one way! When it comes to avoiding my license, I get away with my excuses the first few times, then after a while people get frustrated…i get frustrated…having ask mom to pick me up at the bus station…the person I’m going out with stops answering my calls…and I end up late to interviews, weddings, and important appointments.
My high school boyfriend passed away in a car accident…but even before that happened, I was terrified of driving. Once I even think about driving, I begin to worry. I worry about doing something wrong and getting into an accident and getting hurt, or even worse being responsible for someone else getting hurt. I worry about my car failing me on the freeway or a steep hill. I worry about doing something wrong and getting a ticket…I dont have money to pay no damn ticket!! I have so many recurring nightmares of driving into things…driving off of things…or my favorite…nightmares of my car having faulty brakes. UGH!
…however.
this was a good read and finding I’m not alone in this was such a relief and makes me very hopeful. I’m also hopeful for all of you. I’m going to go and get a drivers handbook when i head out tomorrow and just…take things slow.
Hi, For the last 10 years I was in a very insecure relationship with a man who had to control everything. Well, he never let me drive. He always took me wherever I needed to go. But I had no freedom of my own. Anyway, he passed away suddenly and now I HAVE to drive. He made me so afraid that now I can barely sit in the driver seat without feeling a panic attack. I have tried over and over. I know that once I get over the initial fear, I will be ok. But I just cannot seem to be able to even back the car out.
Strangely enough, I would rather drive a spaceship than a modern car. People who insult others on the road have gotten on my nerves in the past, mostly because no one has ever insulted me during youth in such ways…fortunately, I have become less sensitive. The problem is that I cannot tolerate such people on the road, and would confront one if they tried to go on an extreme.
I am not certain if there is an individually strong memory that causes this stimulus in me, other than the many experiences that defined driving as being a mundane activity full of harsh people that constantly tell us that our abilities are not sufficient.
Apparently, the fear is caused by mental impressions that grow strong when one obeys their false warnings. It is like a lack of understanding concerning the main mask hiding the reality of our experiences. They come and they go…only our mind keeps them alive in a false format. We close our eyes, the images pass away, we feel that we must not care…the fear subsides more and more when we unidentify with those images and feelings.
We know those feelings arise, so why have them control our life?
Hi I have a fear of falling over when I drive in busy places.I don’t like mountain passes and freeway also on bridgers. Even as a passenger it gets scary. Its getting to me alot and all my family live about an hour away from my home. I can’t get there and see them.I have to wait for them to come and see me or get a lift. We should be free from this crippling anxiety . I really need to get back on track and go out and have fun some again. I know….. I think to much , wish there was a switch that you could turn it off. Then it would be easy.
I have gotten my permit twice and let it expire, not sure why I fear driving. I guess after working in a rehabilitation center for almost 7 years, most people that came in were there as a result of a car accident. Driving takes alot of skills and you can be the best driver out there but some nut will be the one running into you. Not only are you watching out for your life and the ones in the car but for the idiots that like to cut you off, speed or tailgate you. I just moved to Florida 5 months ago and definitely need to drive. Lost 10 pounds just walking to and from places. It’s great to walk but summer is coming and I refuse to walk in 100 degrees weather. I am motivated and nothing will stop me. I have the car just need my permit to drive. I have driven before but my instructor put me in heavy traffic on the second day. By the third day I was driving in the highway. My fear came from being in the highway and not feeling in control of the situation yet. If I don’t get my permit by next week I refuse to stay in Florida. If anyone can give me positive feedback please do so on how I can overcome this fear will gladly be appreciated.
I am 31 and I’ve been hearing impaired for most of my life. I got my drivers license at 16 just like everyone else, and I always dreamed of having the freedom to drive. I remember being 17 years old when I finally got to drive my paren’ts car, and I used to drive to and from work in it. One day I got off work and drove to get gas, before going back and picking up my mom from her later shift. Just as I was driving to get on the road, this white truck came out of nowhere fast and t-boned me on the drivers side of the car.
I remember thinking, “Is this happening?” as the car wobbled to a stop. The windshield and the drivers side window had shattered all over inside the car and on me. I didn’t get a scratch but the car was totaled. It completely damaged any confidence I had in myself once I saw the massive damage it did to my parents car.
Going home was difficult when our friend gave me and my mom a lift home, because I knew I would have to face my dad. My mom was fine as long as I was ok but my dad had this look of dissapointment on his face that I’ll never forget. I remember dad used to always tell me that Deaf people didn’t belong behind the wheel of a car, he used to tell me that everyday, to a point where I let myself believe it. When I had the accident, it was like I was proving him that he was right all along. Its been nearly 14 years. I drive off and on when I need to, in places close by and I try to avoid going long distances, but the ongoing fear has never went away. I hate driving on freeways, I hate getting lost in places I dont recognise, and I hate the feeling of dread whenever I drive, my palms sweat, my forehead sweats, and I start to hypervintilate-people used to tell me that it was all in my head-and it probably is, but this feeling is more real and more present than any other feeling I could ever describe. This fear has crippled me from having freedom. Its a feeling of helplessness and needyness that makes me feel so trapped, and this fear is like a living prison on wheels.
I’m now a mom and a wife and I would like to be able to drive without ever doubting myself again, or letting this fear control my life.
I want to make my family proud of me, I want my daughter to see her mother being able to overcome this so that I can show her that its possible to do anything you put your mind to, even overcoming a phobia. I want my husband to see me being more independant.
Can anyone offer some advice?
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